Unnoticed

Unexpected yet anticipated...things fall apart
lost in the wilderness of nothingness...paralyzed and crushed
struggled hard...pleading for answers.


Pretending was salvation...not showing my emotion
the world saw a happy countenance...
none ever got the hint...
a battered soul is well hidden within

Company was one's self...
....loneliness was a refuge
a weary heart submerged in tears....
a time to shed all defenses

Feigning courage and anchoring on faith
...strength was a necessity
through love, acceptance and forgiveness
a spirit was set free.

It's a past now left behind..
a battle won with the passing of the season
to love is not easy
but loving...it will always be.

...remnant of the PAST

Some good things never last alright but there are those that stick to the bones! I am all healed up from my childhood sickness but my allergic rhinitis lives on. Except for the usual sneezes (ha-chu! - is how I does it to be exact - kind of maarte way as my officemates call it) which made me the butt of joke in the office...I am well and fine. It's one of my idiosyncrasies and people...you got no choice but bear with it...no strong perfumes please...even that baby powder scent is fatal! A body odor maybe appalling but hey...strong scents triggers a fluid leak in my nose and an accompanying ha-chu couldn't just send me off to a deadly embarrassment but will prompt you to hide from the projectile liquid. Gross? Yeah, but true. Yes, allergies are the remnants of my sickly past.

It was an unexpected call. Perhaps a realization of that spooky tarot readings in the internet. I won a 4N/3D accommodation in one of the 5 star hotels in the country. Happy Halloween! Ey, made all the verifications and it was legitimate. So, I had it all planned up. ..have to be in Ortigas before 7.30pm, meet up my friend, Alona who works in the area so that we could claim the prize together then head to her house since it's too early for me to go to work. (It would mean a free sumptuous dinner-bdw, she cooks lechon kawali best!). I woke up way earlier than I should and crammed to the bathroom. Who would not? I couldn't just forgo such an opportunity because of being late. I'm a changed person now...not wholly though but I am now capable of showing up on time. No arguments accepted. It's my blog... hello! Anyways, I took a tricycle, categorically the worst means of transportation! I hate the bump and shake thing going on inside that wheeled mechanism. Then a jeepney ride to Alabang and the worst is yet to come. 5PM in Alabang-Zapote? Brace yourself to a carbon-monoxide sniffing spree! Tough ey? My nation is trully damned! I endured an excruciating hour of holding back myself from sneezing and choking...Vertigo...I am so into you! But the thought of the voucher held me in one piece. Yes, I have to keep going. Crossing a wide and busy street was another obstacle. I don't just have to guard myself from reckless drivers who doesn't understand the meaning of those white lines painted accross the road but also, I have to stay clear off those black smoke.. which were shooting right into my face! What could be worse than that? Only in the Philippines! I am left to hope for the comfort of the airconditioned bus which I am about to ride. And yes, it was cool indeed but since my rhinitis is ablaze I can now smell the dust! Ha-Chu filled the chaotic atmosphere...in chorus with the peanut peddler. Embarassing? All in the voucher's name! Because I was dizzy and uncomfortably slidding off my seat, I forgot that I should take the MRT at Magallanes to escape the traffic congestion...so, I stayed inside the bus in an endless Ha-Chu...with people staring at me...for almost 3 as in THREE...agonizing HOURS...too early for the holy week penance! It's nearly 8pm and I have just touched down in Megamall. Alona texted, she's about to go home. I did push my luck but her being a mother need to be home at the time. I called her up for further direction. I have to cross Megallmall up to the 3rd block to get to Center Point...where the voucher awaits...amidst the Ha-Chu...and did I mention the teary eyes? Must have forgotten that but it's actually a combination of both. People with my kind of allergy could relate. It's about 8PM, right? So, I have to drag myself up or else all those that I have been through will be forever be a part of a painful history...and I will vainfully wallow myself in WHAT IFs! No way! Found the place...hurried to the guard who handed me a visitor's pass (ka.ek-ekan to..have to let the destination office sign the paper off and return it to the guard) but I couldn't afford to be sarcastic or unfriendly (Be good to the people you meet on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. True. Figuratively and physically speaking). The guard instructed me as to which elevator to take in going to room#1908. And I was on the 19th floor...surveyed the area and looked at each room number...damn!..no 1908...where could it possibly be? This ain't Harry Potter and the disappearing room. Creepy! I was angered by the thought that I may have been erroneously mislead. I hurried back to the aging elevator...back to the guard...who assured me that room#1908 is the same with #1904...see? no argument...he knows this place better than I do...I'm a visitor remember? I went back up and he was right.

The receptionist asked for my name and ID...asked me to fill up a survey sheet then my eyes ended on the caption " must attend the 90 minute discussion before you claim the prize"...what the $$$$@@@@!!!! Did I mentioned that I have already poured out Bisayan curses while I was on the road?!!! Well, I fired another batch of it. Silently though...Then came the 90 minute presentation. It's Club membership. Actually, the offer was fine and I was back to my old bubbly self. It took us longer than usual to discuss because...the presentor/saleman was asking about Cebu since his going to be there this month end...I forgot his name though but we engaged in so much chika-chika! But no matter how good and enticing the offer was...bottomline is...my budget is allocated somewhere else and so I end up foregoing such an opportunity but anticipating the very purpose of this day's ordeal...THE VOUCHER!..Would you believe if I am going to tell you that I was awarded to stay in the "Palace of the Golden Horses"? Isn't it a 6 star hotel in Malaysia?!!!! Hahahah...when it rains...it pours!

And the sneezes...it's embedded in me...my alter ego...a curse...whether I am sad or happy so long as I have sniffed some dust...or has smelled someone else's or even my perfume...or those fur like things hit my nose...its disaster time again...another addition to my thousand embarrassing moments...it's an indispensable part of my life!